my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
