Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
