I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
