just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
