Kiss
Puke
i already hear my dad disowning me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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