READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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