next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
