This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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