She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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