So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
