Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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