I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
