If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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