Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
