apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
