oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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