I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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