Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you win again, gameday.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
