It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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