Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
