We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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