Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
