If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
