i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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