I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
