I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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