Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
