how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
