So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
