no, he came in my armpit
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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