My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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