I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need help removing her.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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