dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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