So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
