if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
