I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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