hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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