Just cropdusted the office
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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