If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need moral support for this bender
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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