my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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