1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My bed smells like the plague
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
