Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
