The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize