Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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