Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
