Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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