Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
