I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
