Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
