Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
