you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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