when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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