Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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