at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize