i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i dont even know how to be here
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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