Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
