I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
