Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and she was petting her beer can
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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