how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
