can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize