You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
