I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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