Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
