Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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