We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
