You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
